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I know there’s a huge brouhaha about gift lists, but honestly, what is a girl to do when she’s fallen head over heels for Sophie Conran and is conducting a side affair with Dualit? Ours wasn’t all golden dragon eggs and caviar spoons, as I’m not sure you can use a caviar spoon to eat a dragon egg, quite apart from the fact that John Lewis are low on dragon related stock.

The day after our wedding, before we flew to France and after we’d finished packing up the venue, we opened our cards. It was a humbling experience, and so very touching. I will keep them all, every last one. I’d never really appreciated the value of wedding cards, being more of a present person (one day I will tell you about my present drawer) but my, they touched a little spring of teariness deep within.  I was so overcome I forgot to give my new husband his wedding present. He’d given me mine the night before and I’d thanked him by going straight to sleep. Who said romance was dead?

Two burly men hammered on the door on Thursday morning. I was in the shower at the time, and hurtled downstairs thinking a disaster had befallen one of my nearest and dearest.  No, it heralded the arrival of our wedding presents. Which, once I’d stopped having a heart attack and adjusted my towel so the men could look me in the eye rather than somewhere else, was really rather exciting.

Box after box came through the door, resulting in a pile topped with a wicker wastepaper bin. That was on the list, by the way, it wasn’t that they had one spare in the lorry and thought I was a slattern. We’ve spent today sorting things out and trying to be sensible about what to keep packed up and what to use right now, right this second, just because we can.  I hope you’re impressed by the fact I waited until we were together to open our wedding presents. I feel this shows extremely good wifely qualities on my part, and should be rewarded by chocolate. The new husband looked at me and said ‘you never buy chocolate. What do you need THAT for?’. Hmmm. Too late to trade him in?

The Sophie Conran is all wrapped up and will remain that way for a while. I opened a couple of pieces so I could go ‘WOOOOOOOOOOOO’ and run my hand over the ripples.  We’re extremely fortunate to have such lovely friends and family, I know that, they are wonderful. And so is my china. I want to have them all over for dinner – but not at the same time, obviously. It would have to be in shifts of 8. So that’s only 14 dinner parties…

I want to store it under the spare room bed. So that every so often, I can sneak in there, unwrap a dish, and commune with my china for a while.

And possibly, lick it, just to see what it feels like. Strangely, the husband wouldn’t let me do that in John Lewis. I can’t understand why.  He wants to put the china in the loft.

Men.

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