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I am rapidly becoming an expert in the strangely odd world of children’s television.  Times have moved on since the days of Blue Peter and sticky backed plastic. Now, whole channels devoted to munchkins are available. There’s even a Baby TV channel, terrifying as it may seem. Brightly coloured and costumed individuals spend entire days cavorting around for the entertainment of children; even more are CGI’d and animated – there’s a whole other universe out there.

There isn’t enough money in the world to persuade me to be a children’s presenter. Their fixed grins, manic jumping around and persistent cheerfulness makes me want to punch a cake. And then eat it. Preferably whilst they are on mute.  I’m sure they’re perfectly nice people, honest.  Prior to the arrival of the Petites, I’d sworn my children would rarely watch TV, they would play with ‘proper’ toys and not wear branded clothing. I threw out two of those resolutions fairly quickly. The one I cling to is my refusal to put them into Disney clothing. God help me if Boden ever ally with Minnie Mouse.

The funny thing is, the Petite Pommes don’t even watch that much television. Honest. But the characters and make believe worlds of so many shows have made their way into everyday life. We come across them all the time, at playgroup, friends’ houses and, of course, the splashed across the ubiquitous items of clothing and toys which saturate the market.

But the Petites love it. They love CBeebies. And, in particular, Raa Raa the Noisy Lion and the dreaded In The Night Garden.  So I’ve had to compromise my stance, to try and find a compromise on a way forward. Not least because there are times in the day when frankly, I’ve just had enough and want to sit in peace for five minutes and drink a cup of tea whilst I remember that I’ve made one.

You’ll have to wait til later for my musings on the real drama behind In the Night Garden, and why Raa Raa is a delinquent toddler with no boundaries. I have a trifle to make and a pork casserole to stir, for tonight we have friends over for dinner.

Grown up time. I might even drink a hot cup of tea to celebrate.

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