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It’s not often a post on Facebook makes me laugh so much I spill tea all over the sofa. But this pie chart sums up all the comments I receive most regularly.

I remember one particular incident when the Petite Pommes were tiny. They were finally asleep in their buggy and I was using the time to run round frantically and do a few errands. I’d had my usual share of comments – fair enough, people were interested and it was nice to feel the wave of goodwill and (sometimes) sympathy that came my way. I always try to be polite and smile back, even when frankly I just wanted to be left alone. But one person took it too far. A gentleman came up to me and started taking photos of them. For the first time ever I went all Mumma Bear. I was FURIOUS. But the words just wouldn’t come out. To this day I don’t know why I couldn’t come up with something. At least, I should have told him to delete the pictures. They may be twins, and gorgeous, but parents of multiples are not some kind of side show, out and about for the entertainment of others. God knows it takes longer to get out of the house than it does to run the errands!

After looking at him, mouth agape, I burst into tears and ran off, taking refuge in a branch of Fat Face.

I still have the pair of shoes I bought in desperation after the lovely shop assistants had managed to calm me down.

And I’ve finally managed to come up with a good retort. A year too late, but it’s in reserve if ever I need it. Strangely though, now the Petite Pommes are not so Petite, I get much less attention when out and about. At least, for them being twins, that is. And strangely, I miss it just a smidgen.

Contrary, moi?