Dear Johnnie B

I was just hanging out my laundry, as you do, when I came across your latest marketing ploy at the bottom of my peg basket.

I didn’t have a chance to examine this fully when it came in the post along with my latest Boden parcel, as my one year old twins have recently decided that parcels are the most exciting things in the world ever. And when they contain pegs, they are possibly the next best thing to lifting Mummy’s skirt up in public.

Yet you have sent me only one peg. What am I supposed to do with that? I freely admit I’m a bit of a laundry freak, but I like to hang items up using matching pegs. Honestly, this should have been on the leaflet with the rest of your Laundry Rules. Along with the idea that ordering your washing on the line is a Good Thing.  Only then will I feel a fully signed up member of your Laundry Club.

And the sock monster has been banished from this house by the simple expediency of buying all matching socks for each family member, so it’s not even like I can hang up a rogue item of footwear with it.

It’s very pretty, your peg. I would possibly like a few more, as would the twins. Yet they are left to squabble over the solitary flowery peg. It would not make for a happy picture in one of your catalogues. Under the obligatory aspirational question you ask each model, my children would probably put ‘I’d like some more pegs please Johnnie’.

My life will spin out of control if I do not use matching pegs. Or have I missed something, and the peg is meant to be used to corral the wayward peas in my freezer in their bag? Perhaps I should use it in my latest arty crafty effort? It’s a nice peg, I want it to have a happy life.  Let them come in pairs, have a friend, have a party with their flowery buddies.

Free the pegs, Johnnie!