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I fear I am turning into a pastiche of Englishwoman In Approaching Middle Age.

After three weeks of uncertain internet access, my first purchase since we re-entered the digital age has been a pair of slippers. I am becoming unnaturally interested in Radio 4. And today I deadheaded my roses and requested a wooden trug from the APPs for my birthday present.

To cap it all off, I made healthy flapjacks. What’s the point in a healthy flapjack? The entire reason for their being is to stick your teeth together with sugar, providing you with an instant hit which makes you caper about with sugary joy.

But the Petite Pommes are, I’m determined, not to be raised on a diet of teeth rotting snacks. So I experimented. I’ll put it in the oven on a higher temp and for a bit longer next time, but for a first go, in an oven I’m still getting to grips with, I’ve rated it as a ‘Pretty Darned Good’. Plus, it can be literally thrown together whilst children climb your legs and you’re planning what plants to move about in your garden. Oops, at it again…

Preheat oven to Gas Mark 4 (my new oven is gas. I’m not sure what I make of it) or 180°C. Line a small tray with baking parchment.


  • 4oz Golden Syrup
  • 4oz butter
  • 8oz oats – I used a mixture of oats and oatmeal because hey, I live on the edge
  • 1oz flour
  • 2 pieces of fruit, grated – I used one apple, and one pear. And didn’t peel them first. I went wild.
  • A good handful of raisins, sultanas, cranberries or any dried fruit. I reckon chopped dates or apricots would add a certain je ne sais quoi.


Melt butter and syrup together and mix well. Do not lick the spoon, it’ll be boiling hot. See, I’m all about the Elf and Safety.

Add all the other ingredients and mix well. It’ll be quite wet. Pour into the tray, and pop into the oven. Wait hungrily until they are browned (about 20-25 minutes) and then remove. After five minutes, cut into pieces, then leave to cool completely. Store in a tin.

That’s it. Simples!

Next thing we know I’ll be after a wide brimmed straw hat to wear whilst wafting about with a pair of secateurs, along with a faded floral dress and sensible flat shoes. I’m aiming for Augusta Colt in Wimbledon, seeing as how the tennis season is upon us.