Those lovely folk from Twinings have been in touch again. There must be something about the way I slurp my cuppa which make their ears prick up.
Because it’s fairly obvious to all and sundry that I can think of nothing better than a cup of tea, particularly with a very large wodge ladylike slice of cake. But they did not come bearing cake, sadly. Note for next time, Stephen Fry, try baked goods for instant and easy bribery. Instead, on a silver platter, carried by an Olympian, accompanied by the sound of trumpets and angels singing*, they are launching some new teas. And don’t these sound utterly delicious? Honeycomb Camomile Tea, Gingersnap Peach Tea, Mint Humbug Tea, Liquorice Allsorts Earl Grey Tea, and Jasmine Pearls Green Tea. Get your mouth around that lot.
I would love to know what goes on at Twinings HQ. I like to imagine someone was in a thinky kind of mood and stared at a sweet box for inspiration then went ‘how flipping cool would that be?’ before proceeding to play around with flavours and tastes until they hit on the magical chemistry which gives us the aforementioned new teas. Even the colours look like a sweet collection.
Imagine working there. Expense claim forms would actually be interesting to read. ‘One box of white chocolate mice. For Experimentation Purposes Only’. Not that I’m planning on starting to read expense claim forms anytime soon.
Imagine the potential for playing with these new little silky bombs of teafulness. I’m thinking Honeycomb Camomile Tea jelly, with shards of actual honeycomb, Mint Humbug Tea Sorbet topped with mint leaves and Gingersnap Peach Cheesecake with a gingernut base. I have to confess I can’t quite get my head around Liquorice Allsorts Earl Grey Tea, so would probably add a slug of actual liquor to it in an attempt to liven the party up a little. I think Heston should tackle that one.
Perhaps the next Twinings range should be called ‘Quintessential’ and evoke all matters quintessentially British. With the star of the show being ‘Full English: highlights of bacon and mushroom, accompanied by a smoky undertone of sausage’. Or perhaps ‘Champagne Picnic: grassy meadows, bubbly evocative of sunny afternoons’.
Don’t worry, I’m not giving up the day job. Stephen Fry need not fear.
You can find out more about the new range of Twinings Whole Leaf Silky Pyramid Teas on their website. Or live dangerously and throw in a packet whilst you’re doing your weekly shop.
*Not really. But they did sponsor this post.